News from an Alternate Reality

A politician in Dodgington, We See killed an unarmed virtue in the Capital today. Officer “Save T. Children” fired three bills in rapid succession, which took the life of a young virtue named “Hard Work Towards an Ambiguous Goal.”

Officer Children said he felt threatened, as “Hard Work Towards an Ambiguous Goal” was accused of being responsible for the holocaust. “As a member of that most hated class of beings – the politician – I felt afraid for my safety.  This man, Mr. Goal, was accused of orchestrating genocide against a class that was widely hated. Mr. Goal approached me in a particular manner that caused me to experience a reasonable fear for the safety of my person, and thus I used lethal force to kill Mr. Goal.”

Some virtues stood up for the politician, including “The Leader Knows Best”, who insisted we should trust the Officer because he is the Officer.  “Pedantic Exercise in Logic” interjected that the holocaust was a goal and it was achieved through lots of work, and lots of people do hate politicians, so technically the officer had a reason to fear Mr. Goal.  “Shortsighted Commerce” insisted that politicians need to be given leeway, because nobody else can understand the pressure they are in to keep the marketplace safe for corporations of all ages.

“Inherited Wealth” said as long as his trust fund kept getting a reliable return and he didn’t have to risk anything, it didn’t matter to him whether some virtue died. “It’s not like I had to work hard to get where I am,” he said.

Other virtues criticized the politician.  “Forward Thinking Commerce” argued that many wonderful outcomes were poorly defined at the outset of the causes which manifest them, and to blame Mr. Goal for all the results of one pernicious goal was foolish. “Holistic Approach to Social Interaction” suggested that although officer Children did have a rational basis for fear, a safe society depends upon its protectors being braver than the rest. “Minimal Government” argued that laws don’t kill corporations – enforcement does – and that civilian virtues should be allowed to express laws once more.  “We see what has happened down in reality, now that all civilian virtues are stripped of laws, and only the politicians can carry weapons.”

“The interconnected nature of all beings” just kind of sat there and smiled. When prodded for a suggestion, it said “Be nice, you know? like, just be kind to people and it’ll be fine. i dunno, man.”

The family of Mr. Goal decried officer Children’s actions, saying that although Mr. Goal had lead to some problems, he was a good kid raised in a difficult environment.  The family added that these crimes would never have happened if politicians always wore body cameras.

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